Tweets That Prove The Person Sabotaging Your Love Life Is You
Sometimes you're single because of circumstances that are out of your control: the guy you're seeing turns out to be a jerk, timing is wrong, there's distance, etc. In those situations, there is nothing you can do to fix the problem. You just have to move on.
However, sometimes there is an aggressive saboteur in your life who dissembles any good thing you have going with a romantic interest, and sometimes it's yourself. These are some tweets that are way too relatable if you're the person ruining your own love life.
Well, Would You? I Need Answers
Guys will literally just be chilling when you spring an intense hypothetical on them. But seriously, if I had no nose, would you love me? Would you have wanted me? You wouldn't, I know it...
I Am In This Photo And I Don't Like It
The number of times I have complained about being single or not being asked on dates is astronomical, but even higher is the number of times I've come up with a fake excuse to flake on a date just so I could watch Netflix alone in bed.
You Die A Hero Or Live Long Enough To See Yourself Become The Villain
There's nothing worse than waking up to find that you've become the one evil you had always opposed: being a frat boy who wants everything a relationship entails without having to commit.
Too Chaotic For Love 99% Of The Time
Listen, I love being single. I live it up on the weekend and wild out as often as possible, but I'm not ashamed to admit that I occasionally lie in bed, wanting to be cuddled while listening to "Fallin'" by Alicia Keys.
"Of Course I Trust You, Babe"
The finsta can get so dangerous, especially when someone sends your man screenshots of you admitting to borderline crazy behavior and jealousy issues that aren't particularly warranted. Oops, sorry for almost ruining the relationship.
Men Are Just Tools For My Ego Boost
Okay, so I know this is probably not the best way to treat people, but I love the dopamine rush I get when a guy is interested in me even if I have no intention of ever actually dating or hooking up with him.
🙃
Sometimes you have to look back at a relationship and your borderline psychotic behavior towards the person who broke up with you and admit, "you know what, I was the problem."
You Mean I Have To... Reciprocate And Be Vulnerable?
We're all out here wanting to be adored, but it's absolutely gross that I'm expected to return those feelings and be open about myself? No thank you. This is not what I signed up for.
So Dramatic That I Don't Know How To Act
I could take accountability for the ways in which I'm complicit for the series of disasters that is my life, or I could blast Lana Del Ray while wearing a bathrobe and staring out into the distance.
Ah Yes, Let's Overthink And Obsess About His Past
Honestly, it's so disrespectful for a guy I'm seeing to have ever dated other girls before he met me. Now I have to aggressively stalk his exes on Instagram and worry that they are prettier than me and think he's still in love with all of them!
Say I'm Sorry? For The Thing I Was Wrong About? Nah
I get that relationships are supposed to include mutual forgiveness and all that jazz, but I am a stubborn idiot who will go to the grave saying I'm right even if the receipts prove otherwise.
Being Stable And Normal Is So Boring
Hear me out on this one: would I probably be better off if I stopped sabotaging every relationship that makes me happy? Maybe. Would I have as many stories to tell at brunch with the girls? Definitely not.
Just Met Him? Time To Overshare
Truly, there are times where I'm hanging out with a guy who's into me and then my brain does the crazy thing. Next thing you know, I'm saying something like: "...and that's why I have never believed that I am worthy of love."
"I Know He's Garbage... Oh, Wait! This Is His House"
There are a handful of Uber drivers out there who know way too much of my dirt. I'm just waiting for the day that I get the same one so he'll ask why he's driving me to Matt's house again.
This Is A Foolproof System
We get it: you should leave the person who is giving off intense red flags, but what if I instead ignored the logical course of action and turned a blind eye to his toxic characteristics because his hair is very soft?
What If I Let Myself Fall Back Into Destructive Habits... Haha JK... Unless?
Yes, I could avoid the temptation of a scenario that will definitely leave me feeling worse about myself, OR I could throw away all the progress I made over the past year for a guy who peaked in high school.
R.I.P. To The Instagram Following Tab
If you say that scrolling through the "Following" activity page on Instagram to see what guys were liking wasn't a guilty pleasure of yours, I know you're a liar. The number of fights I could've started with my boyfriend-who-isn't-my-boyfriend-yet...
Self-Care Is Overrated—Bring On The Chaos
My life is just me oscillating between being a reasonable, responsible human who is looking for a long-term partner and being a messy, lawless masochist who shoots a 1 a.m. text to a guy who has ruined my life multiple times.
"Why Don't Guys Ever Talk To Me?"
For a brief moment, I will admit to my complicity in my struggle to meet men. I always say that I want to be hit on, and then literally run away every time a man gets within two feet of me.
In Summary, This Is A Photo Of All The Girls Who Found This Article Relatable
Welcome to the club, sis. You are a self-sabotaging idiot who either chooses toxic men or ruins perfectly good relationships just like the rest of us. Come climb into the clown car—we're going to get mimosas.
