We All Have Something To Learn From These Kings And Queens Who Have Flirting Down To An Art
Let's be real: for social creatures, we humans are downright terrible at trying to flirt with people we're romantically interested in.
But not these folks. Through humor, compliments, and a touch of chaos, they have mastered the art of flirting and we all have something to learn from them, so start taking notes.
Just Like Spider-Man
In Spider-Man, Peter Parker got a job at the Daily Bugle taking photos of the elusive superhero, but it seems like this man in a bar might also be wondering about Rebecca's secret identity.
He's definitely impressed by her career choice, although he might be disappointed to learn she herself is not Spider-Man...or is she?
Netflix And Chill
Much like in nature, females always gravitate towards the alpha male, causing the loser to cower and admit defeat. So then how does it work when the alpha is then a corporation? Sorry Bryan, but it seems like even Netflix has more game than you.
Perhaps your date left to go be with the person who runs Netflix's US Twitter account.
An Out-Of-This-World Flirt
This woman explains that this man messaged her on Instagram one day after recognizing her on Tinder. Although we're willing to bet she didn't expect what happened next.
You could say that the stars aligned during their flirtatious encounter. (Okay, I'll show myself out.)
"License And Registration, Please"
Some people like their cars - a lot. As in, their entire personality revolves around the type of vehicle they drive. Anyway, it turns out that some guys want their women just like their cars.
We're not sure how the woman responded to this pick-up (truck) line, but we do applaud his determination in just going for it.
There's A Lot To Unpack Here
This Redditor states, "I don't even know what flirting is anymore," and after reading through his dumpster fire of a conversation, I can understand why.
Neither of these people has a clue what's going on, so at least it can't get much worse. Right?
Christina Approved
This guy made one hell of a gamble in sending Christina this bold pick-up line, and she must be quite the woman if he's willing to dive head-first into a wood chipper to be near her.
Surprisingly, Christina didn't run away! Wow! Is that wedding bells I hear ringing?
When You're No Longer Top Dog
Any pet owner would say that when it comes to the family dog, cat, or some other third option, they consider their pet to be a beloved member of the family.
So if you're the family pet, that is some pretty top-notch flirting right there. Less so however if you're the wife.
I'm Here For An Alright Time
Another thing that works with flirting is having self-deprecating humor. The woman herself commented that this exchange was the "First match with a pick up like that made me laugh", so clearly this guy is doing something right.
And this couple lived together in holy meh-trimony for the rest of their lives with a vibrator never too far out of reach. The end.
As Smooth As Ice
Some flirting requires very few words, but in its execution, speaks volumes.
Remember guys, not all men can be this suave. But if you do attempt flirting this smooth and it hilariously backfires, make sure to post it to Reddit so we can all see it.
Make Me Your Idiot Sandwich
When it comes to dirty talk, everyone has their perfect idea of what they want to hear that'll make them weak in the knees. And then there's this woman who watched one too many Gordon Ramsay shows.
"Now yell at me like I'm an incompetent sous chef who has no business working in the culinary industry..." is most definitely what Dove said in bed one night.
"Is This Flirting?"
It is truth or dare meets flirting, with a side order of pop culture, and it definitely isn't what Allie expected when she first made this proposition.
I've never watched Star Wars, but I'll hazard a guess and say that both options are equally terrible, aren't they?
Geography-Specific Flirting
When flirting, people often pick a specific topic to talk about, such as one's hobbies, favorite TV shows, or even where one lives. For example, this is how Californians apparently flirt.
Is this very sad? Absolutely, because California is beautiful. But it's also hilarious, and that's the main takeaway here. Find yourself someone who appreciates your sense of humor.
Fun With Wordplay
Another thing that often works when it comes to flirting is wordplay, especially if it involves the name of the person you're flirting with.
He loves to cook burgers and he's full of terrible puns? Sounds like my dream man.
Bone-Chilling Flirting
This person's attempt at flirting involved a compliment, but his next comment has some serious Dexter vibes.
Remember everyone: compliments - good. Serial killer stuff - not good, unless they're big fans of true crime documentaries. Either way, I hope this relationship comes with a solid dental plan.
"The Ol' Switcheroo"
When it comes to flirting, another method is to be casual while at the same time reminding the other person what a catch you are. In 2022, baby, it's all about that self-love.
Aside from the fact that paying for sex is illegal (if Law and Order: SVU has taught me anything), this guy's attempt at flirting turned into a lesson for Jane that he and his dick are a solid 10/10.
Technically The Truth
This woman told a guy that she only dates men who are "6 feet or up", and in response, he sent her this.
Is this image horrifying? Absolutely, but I mean, technically he's not wrong, and flirting can take many bizarre forms. Is this what Squidward from SpongeBob SquarePants would look like if he was a teenager?
Simplistic Flirting
If you're Brady and Ally, then flirting is nice, simple, and to the point.
This couple found true love and they didn't have to spend $20,000 on a wedding, or hell, even meet face-to-face. Grandma will be so excited!
"Flirting Is Hard"
Sometimes it can be difficult to know when a person is flirting. Are they romantically interested in you or are they just being friendly? Romantic signals can be hard to read.
But in this guy's case, the weirder he is and the more uncomfortable you are, the more he likes you. Easy to follow along, right?
Flirting Over 40
Ignore the fact that this green text is brighter than a thousand suns and literally hurts my eyeballs, but this guy knows exactly how to flirt with a woman who's over 40 years old.
After all, whether you're a young adult, middle-aged or elderly, everyone deserves love. And after you turn 40, nothing excites a person quite like clean laundry.
And Finally, An Apology To All The Johns Out There
Let the previous photos be a message of inspiration for you as you wade through the dumpster fire that is internet dating, and use this as an example of the kind of impression you don't want to make when flirting.
That is rich coming from someone named "Eren". It's like her parents didn't love her enough to name her "Erin".